Timeless · Visions

After eating my life for the last few weeks the 20th anniversary WGT has now been and gone, and it was – as expected – the best Treffen ever. It’s hard to think how it could be topped, though I’m sure that there’ll be delightful things aplenty next year too. However, this WGT will always stand out as the WGT for me, not least because I finally got to meet my musical icon :WUMPSCUT:. After waiting a lifetime for an opportunity to do so, and honestly believing I never would get one because he’s very reticent when it comes to appearing in public, the fact that I might actually finally see and speak to him was an utter shock to my system. Needless to say I was a nervous-wreck on the day, but he was as sweet and as modest as could be. He had me sit down beside him so that we could have a conversation, and all through he was attentive and really quite lovely about how nervous I was - even taking my hands to steady them because they were shaking so much when I tried to pass him something to sign. In short, my expectations couldn’t have been higher, but then they couldn’t have been exceeded more than they were. I’m always worried about meeting the men and women who I truly admire because there is always the risk that they may end up not being worth that admiration, but I have been really blessed to have had the opportunity to meet most of my idols, and even more blessed that they have all turned out to be wonderful people. Meeting Rudy was one of those life-defining moments for me, and certainly the defining experience of WGT, though of course many other fantastic things happened. However, I think that’s the cue for the 1st bunch of pictures, and yes there is one of me grinning like an absolute idiot (but then what would anyone expect me to do in that situation?) Needless to say at least one of these pictures in going to be printed and framed, not least because Rudy is not often photographed in public. Most people don’t even know what he looks like, and I’ve heard all manner of weird descriptions in the past, so at least I can set the record straight on that!



( Nadia meets Rudy! )
As for the rest WGT... well, for starters it was the best band line-up I’ve ever seen. Highlights for me included Love Like Blood, Tony Wakeford/Owls, Deine Lakaien, Fawn, Raison d’etre, Recoil and In the Nursery, though everything I saw was enjoyable. It was a pity that the Love is Colder than Death gig was cancelled, but I saw them at WGT a few years ago in the same venue that they were meant to play at, so it’s not the worst thing that could happen. I was also quite sad that the singer of Das Ich was so ill that he couldn’t attend, but I was very impressed that the rest of the band decided to play without him so as not to disappoint the fans, and it was really quite moving to see how all the bands pulled together to get great guest vocalists on stage to help out. The spirit of camaraderie was very evident and made an otherwise sad situation quite a musical celebration. Overall there’s just really too many highlights to recount, but notable mentions should go to Recoil for not only being amazing on stage but for bringing in my favourite vocalist Douglas McCarthy (who started by singing a remix of my favourite track ‘Stalker’), and also to the perpetually gorgeous and youthful Yorck Eysel for undoing his shirt during my favourite Love Like Blood track ‘Kiss & Tell’, displaying in the process abs that a man twenty years his junior would envy. Honorary mentions should go to the wonderfully titled ‘Bitch Shifter’ absinthe cocktails which floored me on the very first day, the ever-wonderful rose and mint teas of the Pagan Village and the fruit wines of the Medieval Market at the Moritzbastei. And of course to all the friends and companions who drank, laughed, danced and even rode the Goth train with me.



( WGT in Pictures )
And just in case that’s not enough picture action, here’s the second set to complete my two-part Faerie Queene set as mentioned in my previous post. Duessa's enchantment of the Red Cross Knight has nothing to do with WGT at all of course, but I said I would post it the next time I posted, and this is that next time. It’s always a lot of fun working with other models, especially handsome knights, and these were no different. We were laughing and joking around so much that it’s actually a wonder that we got any pictures at all where we were all serious and in-character. I only hope that I managed to look appropriately manipulative and evil considering that I was feeling anything but. :)


Say on Fradubio then, or man, or tree,
Quoth then the knight, by whose mischieuous arts
Art thou misshaped thus, as now I see?
He oft finds med'cine, who his griefe imparts;
But double griefs afflict concealing harts,
As raging flames who striueth to suppresse.
The author then (said he) of all my smarts,
Is one Duessa a false sorceresse,
That many errãt knights hath brought to wretchednesse.


Spenser, The Faerie Queene (1.2.35)




Photography: Paul Webster
Other Model: Darkmere
( Duessa )

Oh dear, it would seem my posts are more sporadic than ever, but my research is taking up more of my time and I wouldn't change that even if I could because I'm loving it. So I'm reconciling myself to the inevitability of a decline in my online activities. Thankfully I think I'm not alone in that, as lj is quieter than ever and people in general seem to be spending more time living their lives rather than writing about them. It's actually a positive move, in many ways. The older we become the more complex our lives and responsibilities get, and most of us do just have more important priorities. That said, an occasional update is a good way to order one's thoughts and can even be quite a relaxing diversion, which is probably why I'm writing this one now. Generally I use my photoshoots as a stress relief, but of course life bleeds into those just as with everything else, which I suppose explains why I find myself trapped in Faerie Land regardless of whether I'm doing academic or creative work :)

My most recent shoot proves that point only too well, since I actually shot it in the woods just outside my university campus (yes, that does sound rather sad and obsessive, even to me.) But I needed to return some books, and it seemed a convenient compromise especially as the woods are very lovely, and perfect for the theme - Spenser's unfinished epic poem, The Faerie Queene. I know it's a Christian allegory with symbolism heavy enough to dampen the fervour of even the most hardened reader, but it's also an impressive and beautifully written piece of work and deserves a demonstration of respect and admiration. There are several fascinating female characters in the story, but I decided to portray Una and Duessa because it's very interesting to explore a character with a complex dual nature, and they metaphorically represent the two very different sides of the same coin (so to speak.) It's also challenging because you have to present two very different characters even though they look exactly alike - you can only hope that the expressions, body language and general demeanour you bring to each set will communicate those differences. For that very reason I broke them into two different shoots some time apart, with different photographers and locations. I even had a Redcrosse Knight for the Duessa shoot, but that's a story for my next post. The Faerie Queene starts with Una's journey to destroy the dragon and save her parents, and so my story and homage must start with her also. Both sets of pictures are dedicated to wyte_phantom though, for she assisted me on the Duessa shoot and made me a wonderful corset for the Una shoot - I cannot thank her enough for all her help.

I also feel that summer is very much alive in these, and it's definitely time to start celebrating the season, especially as the weather here in London has been quite pleasant for the last few weeks. Besides, I've attended my first bbq and drunk my first Pimms of the year, so that makes it official - it must be summer. Here's hoping that the months ahead will be filled with more of the same!



I, whether lately through her brightnesse blind,
Or through alleageance and fast fealtie,
Which I do owe vnto all woman kind,
Feele my heart perst with so great agonie,
When such I see, that all for pittie I could die.

And now it is empassioned so deepe,
For fairest Vnaes sake, of whom I sing,
That my fraile eyes these lines with teares do steepe,
To thinke how she through guilefull handeling,
Though true as touch, though daughter of a king,
Though faire as euer liuing wight was faire,
Though nor in word nor deede ill meriting,
Is from her knight diuorced in despaire
And her due loues deriu'd to that vile witches share.

Spenser, The Faerie Queene (Cant. III)




Photography: Ana Isabel
Corsetry: wyte_phantom
( Una )

Despite the Bank holiday extravaganza that is April I’m nonetheless on course to have a very busy month, mostly because I’m covering people (in a work sense) whilst they’re away for the school Holiday/Easter period. So my work schedule is pretty hectic at the moment, as is my academic one, though only in the best way. There are many exciting developments, and the recent Myths and Fairy Tales Conference up in York went really well. I met some wonderful people, observed many fascinating papers, and had a lot of fun. I also came home with lots of new ideas for my own research, which is the most important thing really. I also managed to catch the more academic end of the Bloody Women festival at the ICA, which focused on the contribution of women to the Gothic and Horror genre. I'll hopefully also be attending another couple of conferences this year, which I'm very much looking forward to. It’s always such a pleasure to meet like-minded people, especially in an environment so full of creative energy.

Speaking of creative people, my dear friend artnouveauho recently formed a new operatic production company, Dioneo, and I had the great pleasure of seeing their first production ‘The Emperor of Atlantis’ last week. I would highly recommend trying to catch a show when they move to the Arcola Theatre in August because this particular production is rare and therefore quite a treat for anyone who enjoys opera. I have no doubt that future productions will be equally unmissable.

On a personal front, I’m pleased to say that both Smaff and I have succeeded in achieving some small, but very important, goals in the last couple of weeks. There's still a lot I need to do this year, but I’m off to a good start and I’m very hopeful for the future. And there are certainly many things to look forward to - WGT is now completely booked so I'm very excited about that, there are loads of friend's birthdays and summer barbecues coming up, the new garden that we recently finished planting is beginning to bloom and look lovely, and of course there's all this glorious weather at the moment (long may it continue!)

I'm also starting to shoot more frequently now that the weather is warmer, though the set below is from three/four months back. I generally try to avoid so-called 'beauty' shots as they make me rather nervous, but I generally try to do some beauty work at least once or twice a year because it's important to have such things in one's portfolio. I admit I always worry about cameras that close to my face, especially as they pick up so much detail these days, though thankfully I get to work with some wonderful photographers who always make the process less frightening. In this case we got to play around and take other shots too, and we had some lovely natural light for it so it ended up being a very good day all round.





Photography: Robert Marchosias
( Silver Screen )

It's been awhile since I returned from Prague, so it seems strange to be posting the second set of pictures from the trip now. I promised I'd post them though, and I have a rare couple of free hours so now is as good a time as any. Of course I took more pictures than I can actually post, but I hope this small selection will go at least some of the way to revealing how enjoyable my experience was. To put it into words I'd have to say that Prague is an extraordinarily beautiful city, with more stunning architecture than any one set of eyes can handle. There was also more absinthe than is healthy, more snow that I generally like, and the worst drivers in all the world. Well, I can't really say they were the worst in all the world since I've not actually visited every country there is to visit, but they're certainly the worst I've seen anywhere I've ever been. But don't worry - there are no pictures of bad drivers under the cut, just awesome bits of Prague scenery :)



( Prague )

Since I'm whipping up a second batch of pictures from my trip I should do the same for the second batch of pictures from my corset shoot for Morua Designs, for corsets are one of life's fabulous things and deserve their place in a post all about the extremely fabulous. And they don't get much better than this - I am constantly amazed by the talent of the lovely pitufina. Ah, if only life were full of trips and corsets!



Photography: Toni Cutt
Corset: Morua Designs
( Ladybird )

As most will know it was my birthday last week Sunday, but I couldn't post at the time because I was out of the country. In fact, I was in the very beautiful and romantic city of Prague. My lovely elf surprised me with the trip because it was a 'significant' birthday, so to speak, and I was of course most delighted because I have always wanted to see it. Happily it exceeded all my expectations, and everything was astonishingly lovely, but before I get to that I must post some obligatory silly birthday snaps ( Birthday Drinks )
Since I wasn't in London for my actual birthday I didn't plan a party, but I was very blessed to be able to have a mini party with some close friends when I came back. It was all rather spur-of-the-moment so I'm especially grateful to everyone who braved a cold and rainy night to toast to my continuing decrepitude. Thank you all so much for making me feel so special :)

But before there was drunken silliness there was Prague, and I was most fortunate to spend quite a few days in that fair city and therefore have many amazing memories, and far too many pictures. In fact, there are so many that I'll have to break them up into different posts(mostly because I haven't finished going through them all yet ;) but since this is my official birthday post I'm going to put the 'highlights' up. If I had to choose one thing from the holiday that stands out as being the defining moment of the trip it would have to be finally seeing the magnificent Sedlec Ossuary in Kutná Hora. It's been a dream of mine for years to see the infamous 'Church of Bones' - in fact it was one of the things on top of my 'Must Do Before You Die List' - so it meant the world to me to finally be able to go there. Of course it was even more incredible than I imagined, and of course the pictures won't do it justice, but I'm going to post them anyway because it was so amazing that I need to be a ridiculous fan girl about it.



( The Sedlec Ossuary )

The other highlight was doing a shoot in Prague. Since the trip was a surprise I didn't have much time to organise anything, but it wouldn't be like me to turn down an opportunity to shoot in one of the real 'fairytale' cities of the world so I had to try, and fate was obviously smiling on me because I found an absolutely lovely, and very talented, young photographer who was more than happy to shoot in terrible conditions at a moment's notice. I don't say that lightly, for it was -6°C on the day and the wind was even colder. And it did, of course, start snowing half-way through. I was sure that I would lose my fingers at some point, but they somehow miraculously recovered (ah, the restorative powers of absinth ;) and the pictures turned out beautifully despite the fact that I was frozen solid. So overall my birthday was quite awesome. It was the best birthday yet, and I'm happy that I'll always be able to say that I had a big all-round celebration for a big all-round kind of number :)




Photography: Anela Bilic
( A Bohemian Fairy Tale )

Today is one of those days where all the lovely things in life seem even lovelier. Sadly, however, it's all a little tinged with loss because one of those lovely things is no longer with us. The goth community lost a wonderful man - and many of us lost a valued friend - a few days ago. Words always fail me at such times, for nothing can convey the true depth of feeling that we experience on such occasions. But as sure as I know anything I know he wouldn't have wanted anyone to dwell on dark thoughts. He would much rather us raise a glass than shed a tear, just as he himself met every frown with a wry joke and a cheeky smile. For that reason I am posting a series of pictures from the last week celebrating joyous events filled with laughter and life. On a day like today we should not only respect the bond we have with our partners, but should also remember the love that binds us all to each other and to this world. Here's to many more reasons to celebrate, and less reasons to cry.

So in chronological order, but unfortunately missing pictures from denalyia's birthday due to camera battery failure, a week full of happiness:

( Hal’s Birthday )


( Tanz Macabre )


( Jeff's Birthday )
On the subject of lovely things I also want to take a moment to talk, or more accurately, show, something that truly deserves the term. I've always been very fortunate to have many talented and highly skilled friends who constantly amaze me with the wonderful things they create. Last year I had the honour of meeting a truly gifted woman who I'm now proud to be able to call a friend, and I'm even more proud to have been able to model some of her beautiful clothing. At the moment I am more aware than ever of how precious friendship is, and I count myself very lucky to share my life with so many extraordinary people.

And even though it's nearly over, let me take this opportunity to wish everyone a happy Valentine's day. I hope that every day of your year - not just this one day - will be filled with love.



Photography: Toni Cutt
Corsetry: Morua Designs
( The Scarlet Chamber )

So I find myself again woefully behind in updates, and in truth I have now begun to accept that the constraints on my time are such that posts will be more infrequent than they have been in the past. Juggling work with my research, and trying to retain some semblance, of a home and social life, is very taxing to say the least. When I add necessities like eating and sleeping on top of that it leaves me with very little time indeed, so it's no surprise that my time online is down to practically nothing. I honestly don't mind though, for I have always wanted to live life rather than stare at it on a screen, and because of that I will always prefer to spend more time in the 'real' world rather than the online one. But the online world is not without importance, and I readily admit that the ease of social networking facilitates greater movement in the real world. So I'll continue to try to keep up with everyone as much as I can, and even if I can't pop in very often to post I will at least try to make each time count.

Unfortunately, however, this isn't going to be one of those times because I have a very poorly elf upstairs that I need to take care of. So this will be a brief pictorial tale of two Saturdays - one literal and the other rather more metaphorical :) The first part of the tale concerns a rather epic celebratory event which I was very fortunate to attend. It was my promise to various people that I would have at least some of the pictures up asap that actually occasioned this rare post.




( Edward & Maddie's Housewarming Party )
The second part of the tale is about a very different type of Saturday - certainly very different for me anyway. It's not a theme that I thought I would ever try, and is not one that I would have chosen for myself had someone not proposed it. Moreover, it's certainly not a theme to be undertaken lightly, but I do believe that certain themes/concepts do not always need to carry the burden of the common associations attributed to them. Needless to say we didn't approach this from a negative place, and I will always remember this experience as being full of fun and laughter. I suppose all that can really be said, especially on a cold and dismal Monday, is that the world would be a much better place if there were more Saturdays!




Photography: Jenna Cherie
( Samedi )

I still can't quite believe it's a new year, which I suppose isn't so bad because there hasn't been all that much of it yet. But I think that I've certainly made a pretty good start, and in the spirit of that I'm going to do a picture round-up of my last week. I can't begin the year without ending it properly though, so first and foremost I want to post a few Christmas pictures. Both Smaff and I had a lovely few days, filled with far too much food and drink and lethargy, but due to said overindulgence I didn't take many pictures. The one exception, however, were the pictures I took of Freya because like any good parent I obviously just had to take truly embarrassing pictures of my baby unwrapping her gift ;)




( Freya gets her Christmas Catnip )
As for NYE itself, we decided to have a party at home rather than going clubbing. We've always felt that it's far nicer to spend a relaxed evening with close friends at a house party than go to a club on NYE because they tend to get way too busy and unpleasant, and since we have a pretty big house by London standards we felt it was only right to host something for all the people who didn't want to spend their last night of the year fighting to either get a drink or to get on the dancefloor. As it turned out there were actually quite a lot of people who fit that bill, so our house ended up filled with lots of lovely drunken goths, and we had an absolutely brilliant time. I was again far too merry to take many pictures, but there are a few from earlier on in the evening (before I got too drunk myself ;)




( NYE2010 )
But in my mind NYE always consists of two parts, for sahra_patroness's birthday rather unfortunately falls on NYE itself and she therefore celebrates it a day or two later. So it never feels quite complete until that second party, where a huge gathering of still slightly hungover goths head to a restaurant/drinking establishment for some further fun, and in this case some rather wonderful bottles of chilli sauce.




( And just in case anyone doubts the awesomeness of the bottles, here are some pictures of the best )
Last but not least, I'm posting some of my seemingly endless backlog. This is the second set from the latex shoot I did a few months ago, and I really loved the way these turned out so I feel it's a great way to mark my first post of the New Year. As they say, start as you mean to go on!




Photography: Amy Zarah
( Between the Lines )

I know very few people will see this post as almost everyone is already with their family, or traveling to wherever it is they'll be spending Christmas, but I couldn't embark on my own journey up North without taking a moment to wish everyone a very wonderful and happy yule. See you all on the other side!


Photography: Caitlin Jane
( Merry Christmas )

After working non-stop for ages I finally have some time off, and that means I can actually update lj. Unfortunately, a side effect of working hard is that you fall behind in other aspects of your life. I've been going out a lot, but not as much as I'd like, and there are some friends which I haven't seen for ages and that's no good at all. So over the next few weeks I'm going to do all the things I really love to do the most - spend lots of quality time with people I care about, read lots of books, and play with my cat until she's so exhausted she stops being a nuisance. And of course catch up on everything that I've let slip, which includes the second set of pictures from my 'most difficult shoots' pile. But before I get to that I wanted to ask some important questions about NYE - who's going to what, and more importantly who's not made their mind up yet? The reason I ask is because there's a few people I know who are looking to do something other than clubbing, so I was wondering if there's anyone around who's still at a loose end, and what sort of ideas are floating around regarding what people would like to do?

Apart from picking people's brains though, I really do want to finish the long overdue second half of my last entry where I spoke of my desire to close this year off by posting the results of my most difficult shoots. There's an old saying which photographers use all the time: "Never work with children or animals." Thankfully there are a few photographers out there that are brave enough to ignore sensible advice (either that or I'm just very scary convincing ;) I knew it wouldn't be easy of course, but I've always wanted to shoot with a horse and I never doubted that with hard work and dedication we would manage it. And on the day itself, when I saw how beautiful she was, I knew that all the hard work would be worth it. I know a fair few people who don't like horses all that much, but I've always thought that they're absolutely magical. I love the pictures, but most of all I'm just so very grateful to have had the opportunity to share a few hours with such a gorgeous creature. If I had the time and the means I would ride all the time, but right now it's an all too rare pleasure for me, so now at least I have some pictures to stare mournfully at when I think of how much I want to do it.

SO after these quests of Sir Gawaine, Sir Tor, and King Pellinore, it fell so that Merlin fell in a dotage on the damosel that King Pellinore brought to court, and she was one of the damosels of the lake, that hight Nimue. But Merlin would let her have no rest, but always he would be with her. And ever she made Merlin good cheer till she had learned of him all manner thing that she desired; and he was assotted upon her, that he might not be from her.

Sir Thomas Malory, Le Morte D'Arthur




Photography: Paul Webster
Also including the beautiful and ethereal Sookie
( Nimue )